Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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