Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
