Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I love you.
Bad choice
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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