I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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