I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
