haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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