the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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