I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
