I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
