Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
