Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
