Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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