the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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