Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
