Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
