She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
