I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
