fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
