hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
