Pappa wants mamma naked
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
