SEEEEXXX PLEASE
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
