I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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