Betty ford says i'm here all night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
