Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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