I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
