4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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