the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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