He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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