xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
