I'm really into asian looking animals
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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