Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
