At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
