I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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