he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize