Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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