New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize