Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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