I intend to get homeless drunk
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
