i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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