oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
