So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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