We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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