She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
