I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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