I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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