Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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