wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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