Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
