so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
