so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your cock deserves a montage
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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