Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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