Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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