I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
