I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
