Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
