you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize