I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
