If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
