i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
