u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
