Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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