she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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