can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
