Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
