im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
