it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
