FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
